I'm going to BC, woot! I'm going to BC, woot! I'm going, woot! I'm going to BC, woot! I'm going to BC, woot! I'm going to BC, woot! I'm going to BC, woot! I'm going to BC, woot! I'm going to BC, woot! I'm going to BC, woot! I'm going to BC, woot! I'm going to BC, woot! I'm going to BC, woot! I'm going to BC, woot! I'm going to BC, woot! I'm going to BC, woot! I'm going to BC, woot! I'm going to BC, woot! I'm going to BC, woot! I'm going to BC, woot! I'm going to BC, woot! I'm going to BC, woot! I'm going to BC, woot! I'm going to BC, woot! I'm going to BC, woot! I'm going to BC, woot! I'm going to BC, woot! I'm going to BC, woot! I'm going to BC, woot! I'm going to BC, woot!
So, I'm going to BC. Woot! I'm excited, as I'm sure you can tell. And yes, I was doing the happy dance in my head while I wrote that.
My decision was made last night, after I recieved a reply to my inquiries from one of the student advisers at UCFV. I emailed her asking for some more specifics on their courses because I want to be sure that I am able to emerge as a college grad with a career, a job, and get on with meeting my goals. I want to teach ESL in Latin America right? So, I need to take courses that will get be there. And, as it turns out, UCFV offers a course which teaches me to do that exact thing (had I known this, my decision would have come about a LOT sooner!), not to mention their kick bum linguistics course and study aborad Latin American Studies. Oh, and their English program too. I mean, how perfect can things get? This is so perfect for me; Grant MacEwan, though closer and more easier on my pocket, offers nothing that can compare to this (no TESL course, which is pretty much the cherry on top of the icing on top of the biggest flipping cake you've ever seen!)
The only thing that makes this transition scary for me is the fact that in 6 or 7 months, I'm going to be in an entirely different stage of life, and I know it. I am currently in point 'A,' and the road to point 'B' is particularly challenging and unknown to me. Frankly, I haven't the foggiest idea of how I am going to make all of this work. Though I guess it hasn't been 'me,' persay, making things work up to this point so I shouldn't try to start now.
Another bonus is that we are painting the coffee shop! That rights folks, no more gross pinky stuff and badly painted green in the bathroom. Laura and I came up with a brilliant colour scheme, Wendy added her wants, and together, the three of us came up with a flipping swet design. This place is going to look unbelieably different! I've been wanting toleave my mark here and now I have the chance to. The original date for the change has been set for Easter holidays, though my fingers are crossed for a closer date. I'm just so excited! It is going to look soooooo good, and not like any other coffee shop you have ever been too!
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Monday, February 26, 2007
Iced Out
I am not a believer in karma or any of that, and not really a believer in bad luck either. I don't usually have 'bad luck' with anything, but there is one recurring issue that someone might resolve as 'bad luck.'
Over the course of the past two years, I have been without hot water in my house three times. The first time as a result of my family struggling to make ends meet and it having to be cut off, the second time, shortly after my folks got the hot water back, our tank violently exploded in the middle of the night (this was humerous. I woke in the middle of the night to hear what sounded like a rushing waterfall in the furnace room next to my bedroom. After checking it out and seeing water shooting everywhere like 20 pressure water hoses, my first words were: DAAAAAAAD!). Then, yesterday, in my own house, about a year later, the hot water tank blew only this time significatly less violently. But none the less, the flipping hot water tank ran out of hot water while I was in the shower.
It seems that I am fully versed on how to deal with living on cold water; I hate it, especially when I want a hot bath, but I know how to get by. Besides, it is cheaper and betters for your darks if you wash you clothes in cold water!
I take my experiences as learning experiences. After all, I am planning on living in 2nd and 3rd world countries for a good deal of my future. Who is to say I will always have hot water available?
Over the course of the past two years, I have been without hot water in my house three times. The first time as a result of my family struggling to make ends meet and it having to be cut off, the second time, shortly after my folks got the hot water back, our tank violently exploded in the middle of the night (this was humerous. I woke in the middle of the night to hear what sounded like a rushing waterfall in the furnace room next to my bedroom. After checking it out and seeing water shooting everywhere like 20 pressure water hoses, my first words were: DAAAAAAAD!). Then, yesterday, in my own house, about a year later, the hot water tank blew only this time significatly less violently. But none the less, the flipping hot water tank ran out of hot water while I was in the shower.
It seems that I am fully versed on how to deal with living on cold water; I hate it, especially when I want a hot bath, but I know how to get by. Besides, it is cheaper and betters for your darks if you wash you clothes in cold water!
I take my experiences as learning experiences. After all, I am planning on living in 2nd and 3rd world countries for a good deal of my future. Who is to say I will always have hot water available?
Thursday, February 22, 2007
And the Irony Abounds...
Okay, now I don't know what to do. I got in UCFV in Abbotsford. I wanted to go there, it was ranked one below Grant MacEwan on my list, but that was when I had confidence that I would get into UBC. I wanted to be in BC so badly next year, but since I found out that Vancouver was not next for me, I had gotten used to it. And Edmonton has its benefits. However, I was thrilled at my acceptance to UCFV. Anyone know what the college is like? And where I could find a place to live in Abbotsford? Or how much dorm-living costs? I think the basic schooling is about the same. I don't know what I am going to do. BC or Alberta? both have so many pros and so few cons. This is unfair.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Every Day is a Fun Dip Day!
When I get down, when the stress becomes simply too frustrating, when people just down right get on my nerves and I spout of a string of profanities longer than the Great Wall of China, I know that my grey skies can be cleared by one lick of that wonderful sugar stick.
I love Fun-Dip. It has always been there for me, and many a fond memory has been made while sugaring up on it's goodness with friends. Perhaps as a result of its unstopable hyperactive powers.
Monday, February 19, 2007
Gaming Day
First of all, I want to thank everyone for being so encouraging. Last week was somewhat stressful, and it was so refreshing to know that there are people out there who really just want to see me succeed. Thanks y'all. Pretty schveet.
Well ,we finally got out to Banff this past weekend. It was a lot of fun, despite the fact that we really didn't do very much. I think we were there for a total of four or mybe five hours. For a two-three hour drive, our stay seemed pretty short. But fun, none-the-less.
We took my friend Shelly with us. Now, some people can only take so much of her, but I love her to death and am going to really miss her when I'm gone next fall. Allbeit, she is a rather questionable driver. Anyway, the four girls who went seperated from the guys and went into Calgary on the way home and did some shopping. So much fun! The highlight was...we finally got the fish for our tank! It only took about 6 months. I have two of my own: a big black moora with gold specks on his scales and a gold belly (his name is Mr. T.) and a white oranda with an orange head (Sherlock). They are so funny looking. Mr. T. likes to chase the other fish around. Laura and Bailey each got three; Bailey's are flipping hilarious. As Papa C put it "They're going to explode." Serisouly. They are tiny and so incredibly fat that the sheer dynamics of them being able to swim eludes me. They are the size of a big marble, just as round, and they have the most useless little fins. I love them! So cute.
Well ,we finally got out to Banff this past weekend. It was a lot of fun, despite the fact that we really didn't do very much. I think we were there for a total of four or mybe five hours. For a two-three hour drive, our stay seemed pretty short. But fun, none-the-less.
We took my friend Shelly with us. Now, some people can only take so much of her, but I love her to death and am going to really miss her when I'm gone next fall. Allbeit, she is a rather questionable driver. Anyway, the four girls who went seperated from the guys and went into Calgary on the way home and did some shopping. So much fun! The highlight was...we finally got the fish for our tank! It only took about 6 months. I have two of my own: a big black moora with gold specks on his scales and a gold belly (his name is Mr. T.) and a white oranda with an orange head (Sherlock). They are so funny looking. Mr. T. likes to chase the other fish around. Laura and Bailey each got three; Bailey's are flipping hilarious. As Papa C put it "They're going to explode." Serisouly. They are tiny and so incredibly fat that the sheer dynamics of them being able to swim eludes me. They are the size of a big marble, just as round, and they have the most useless little fins. I love them! So cute.
So I am sitting now at the Dick's shop getting my laptop set for a day of gaming. "Gaming," if you are unfamiliar with the term, is a bunch of people gathering at one location to play a LAN game that usually involves shooting each other's brains out. It is somewhat more wholesome than it sounds. Somewhat.
I recently have become utterly addicted to Keane and Alexi Murdoch. If y'all are looking for some good, kinda easy-rockin' music, I strongly recommend those guys.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
A Moment, Please
So today, my life changed and rounded a corner I never really saw coming. Ironic as it all was, I saw none of it coming. Intrigued yet?
I'm going to college this fall, and it is a certainty now. However, I will be heading 'er on up to Edmonton, and not to the East or even the West coast. My hear kinda really broke when I found out I wasn't smart enough for the west or east, but know that I am to go to school this fall. So, as of, oh, say, 15 mins. ago I am an official student of Grant MacEwan Bachelor or Arts/Education program. I freaked out. Do you want to know how it is ironic? I'll tell you:
This morning, I finally signed that piece of paper I have been hanging on to for some time. The paper was to let MacEwan know whether I wanted to pull my registration from their school or not. I had said no, praying that I would be accpeted to UBC. I didn't seal the envelope. Laura and I went to the post office. She got the mail whilst I went to buy a stamp and send off my slip of no to GM. She got my reply from UBC. It's obvious what the answer was. I didn't actually read the rejection, but read through the envelope; I was too terrified to read the actual letter. I ran back inside the PO and got my letter back. After my return home, I franctically called MacEwan and paid $200 on my credit card (which I think I have never and will never be more grateful for having!) and after a frantic half hour on the phone with a sweetheart of a British woman, I am officially going to Grant MacEwan in the fall.
I am excited, believe it or not. I mean, at any point I can transfer. And besides, I'll still be meeting new people and hanging out with Dave and coming back frequently. Dad and Tommo will be happy.
So, on top of that, I have been suffocating with moments. I need a break. I'm getting way too emotional and getting easily spooked. I bought new glasses on Sunday, am getting my own, brand new lappy top this afternoon, recieved the book of poetry I am published in (first poem in the entire book baby!) and gotten to know a buttload of my Mom's family history. The latter in that sentence is possibly the most exciting of all though.
I've recently gotten in touch with my 2nd cousin and some relation, and been absolutely blessed by his communication. I'm strating to feel a little less alienated; I am actually related to people? What is this? Turns out, and this is all I really cared to devulge at this junture, I am nearly entirely Scottish. And only a 4th generation Canadian on Mom's side. Cool huh? I only wish I had that freaking sweet accent that all those Scot's have.
Anyway, my heart need's a break from this at the moment. Please be praying for me. I need a lot of it. Working an insane amount and freaking out about having to be mature and all is making my worry something fierce about finances and wondering whether I'm making my own decisions or God's decisions. Help!
And yes, I am still planning on taking Spanish courses in Panama, but think it would be more beneficial if I go to college first. You know, perhaps I'll know more about where God really, uber wants me by the time al lthis is done.
Seriously, prayers? I admitt, sometimes I am just not strong enough to pray for myself.
I'm going to college this fall, and it is a certainty now. However, I will be heading 'er on up to Edmonton, and not to the East or even the West coast. My hear kinda really broke when I found out I wasn't smart enough for the west or east, but know that I am to go to school this fall. So, as of, oh, say, 15 mins. ago I am an official student of Grant MacEwan Bachelor or Arts/Education program. I freaked out. Do you want to know how it is ironic? I'll tell you:
This morning, I finally signed that piece of paper I have been hanging on to for some time. The paper was to let MacEwan know whether I wanted to pull my registration from their school or not. I had said no, praying that I would be accpeted to UBC. I didn't seal the envelope. Laura and I went to the post office. She got the mail whilst I went to buy a stamp and send off my slip of no to GM. She got my reply from UBC. It's obvious what the answer was. I didn't actually read the rejection, but read through the envelope; I was too terrified to read the actual letter. I ran back inside the PO and got my letter back. After my return home, I franctically called MacEwan and paid $200 on my credit card (which I think I have never and will never be more grateful for having!) and after a frantic half hour on the phone with a sweetheart of a British woman, I am officially going to Grant MacEwan in the fall.
I am excited, believe it or not. I mean, at any point I can transfer. And besides, I'll still be meeting new people and hanging out with Dave and coming back frequently. Dad and Tommo will be happy.
So, on top of that, I have been suffocating with moments. I need a break. I'm getting way too emotional and getting easily spooked. I bought new glasses on Sunday, am getting my own, brand new lappy top this afternoon, recieved the book of poetry I am published in (first poem in the entire book baby!) and gotten to know a buttload of my Mom's family history. The latter in that sentence is possibly the most exciting of all though.
I've recently gotten in touch with my 2nd cousin and some relation, and been absolutely blessed by his communication. I'm strating to feel a little less alienated; I am actually related to people? What is this? Turns out, and this is all I really cared to devulge at this junture, I am nearly entirely Scottish. And only a 4th generation Canadian on Mom's side. Cool huh? I only wish I had that freaking sweet accent that all those Scot's have.
Anyway, my heart need's a break from this at the moment. Please be praying for me. I need a lot of it. Working an insane amount and freaking out about having to be mature and all is making my worry something fierce about finances and wondering whether I'm making my own decisions or God's decisions. Help!
And yes, I am still planning on taking Spanish courses in Panama, but think it would be more beneficial if I go to college first. You know, perhaps I'll know more about where God really, uber wants me by the time al lthis is done.
Seriously, prayers? I admitt, sometimes I am just not strong enough to pray for myself.
Sunday, February 04, 2007
A Week of Changes
So, yet another week has gone by and already February is here. I can't believe it! January went so fast, even though nothing really horribly major happened. Or so it feels like any way.
I am officially done cleaning the Cousins, and honestly, I do miss it. I only cleaned there for five months, and the first four were so much fun. The last one wasn't so much, but that wasn't what made me choose to drop it.
On Friday I actually start working for the Cousins washing dishes. I think I'll be working my way up to cook from there, which is far easier to do than start out as a cook. Other than that, I am still cleaning Jo-Al's and might possibly be starting to work the floor there. Yes, I know, I'm busy. I for sure have three jobs, and a possible fourth. Fortunatly, however, eaven working all of these jobs I still have plenty of time to kick back and relax. And, as a bonus, all of my jobs are so different and I get to work with some of the most interesting people.
Still no definate words of acceptance from either of the schools I really want to go to, but this week I have found myself to be mildly more patient. I really want to go to UBC though, and I mean REALLY!!
Any-who, I best be high-tailing it outta here. Time to go up to Three Hills and finish painting the walls at the Lube Go. Seriously, it looks pretty cool. I'm just helping Laura; she painted the majority of it. You should see it when we finish though. It's all black and white and blue and such.
I am officially done cleaning the Cousins, and honestly, I do miss it. I only cleaned there for five months, and the first four were so much fun. The last one wasn't so much, but that wasn't what made me choose to drop it.
On Friday I actually start working for the Cousins washing dishes. I think I'll be working my way up to cook from there, which is far easier to do than start out as a cook. Other than that, I am still cleaning Jo-Al's and might possibly be starting to work the floor there. Yes, I know, I'm busy. I for sure have three jobs, and a possible fourth. Fortunatly, however, eaven working all of these jobs I still have plenty of time to kick back and relax. And, as a bonus, all of my jobs are so different and I get to work with some of the most interesting people.
Still no definate words of acceptance from either of the schools I really want to go to, but this week I have found myself to be mildly more patient. I really want to go to UBC though, and I mean REALLY!!
Any-who, I best be high-tailing it outta here. Time to go up to Three Hills and finish painting the walls at the Lube Go. Seriously, it looks pretty cool. I'm just helping Laura; she painted the majority of it. You should see it when we finish though. It's all black and white and blue and such.
Saturday, January 27, 2007
One Order of Straight Caffine by IV, Please
My body hates me right now, but it was worth ever minute of it! Needless to say, my 24 hour holiday was more than worth it.
We went to the Delta Inn at Kananaskis Lodge, which is expensive but incredibly beautiful. The room I shared with Bailey was huge, it has an indoor/outdoor hot tub, which we used of course, a games room, fitness lounge, drink lounge, yummy restaurant...everything to make our one-night stay blissfull. The view from our room was spectacular too, even though it over looked the entrance. We were insanely well fed, some well slept, and all relaxed. So much fun!
Then we went to Nakiska. In retrospect, I think the hot tub would have been better following the snowboarding, but hey, what can you do? Anyway, of course the snowboarding was amazing. I mean, before I left, I left a bunch of little papers with "I'm going snowboarding!!!!!!!!!" all over my house. My poor roommates. Because of my "skill" level, I'm finding myself rather sore this morning. Not so much from falling though (I only fell twice, really hard, because I was flying down on my last run and psyched myself out!) but from getting up and down all the time. I actually was wanted for instruction (one of the guys who went with us wanted to learn the ways of the snowboard, and for some reason, the people I was with thought I could teach him something), and, before giving up, Cory was able to get up and go down a hill. Unfortunatly, he did many loop-di-loops and figure eights in the process. He didn't get hurt though! But, as it was for me, getting up is the hardest part. My arms can even make it to 90 degrees today, my left leg is very much so unhappy, my right hip kept me awake last night, and my tushie is hurting again because of an injury I took last year. Seriously, the one fall I had, I smoked me knee on the lovely ice that Nakiska has on their slopes, and whacked my tush, all in one attempt to keep my self from going into the trees. Awesome. But this year, I went all the way to the top of the moutain and came down; the easy way mind you, but the trail is narrower and steeper than the other ones I've been on.
So yeah, last night, sleep just would not come. At about 11pm I gave up, got in the shower, and by 12:30 or 1 I was on my way to Three Hills with Dave and Curt, who were also still up. We went on a "Chicken Run" to the Macs, but only got junk food. The clerk there was so nice. He was from Pakistan, spoke English, and was so tired. He told me that he was taught to drink warm milk to stay awake over in Pakistan. Poor guy. I told him that calcium actually helps aid the sleeping process. When we left, he was drinking orange juice. We got home sometime close to 2:30am, and I found myself at the coffe shop at 7:20am.
Today, I work a nine hour shift, then will likely go home and pass out. Tomorrow morning, the usual crew and I are heading out to Banff for the day. Oh! I almost forgot. Vancouver is just now finally getting around to reviewing my application. I only sent them my application two or three months ago, and my transcripts 7 weeks ago. Oh well, I can't be bothered; I'm just so excited!
We went to the Delta Inn at Kananaskis Lodge, which is expensive but incredibly beautiful. The room I shared with Bailey was huge, it has an indoor/outdoor hot tub, which we used of course, a games room, fitness lounge, drink lounge, yummy restaurant...everything to make our one-night stay blissfull. The view from our room was spectacular too, even though it over looked the entrance. We were insanely well fed, some well slept, and all relaxed. So much fun!
Then we went to Nakiska. In retrospect, I think the hot tub would have been better following the snowboarding, but hey, what can you do? Anyway, of course the snowboarding was amazing. I mean, before I left, I left a bunch of little papers with "I'm going snowboarding!!!!!!!!!" all over my house. My poor roommates. Because of my "skill" level, I'm finding myself rather sore this morning. Not so much from falling though (I only fell twice, really hard, because I was flying down on my last run and psyched myself out!) but from getting up and down all the time. I actually was wanted for instruction (one of the guys who went with us wanted to learn the ways of the snowboard, and for some reason, the people I was with thought I could teach him something), and, before giving up, Cory was able to get up and go down a hill. Unfortunatly, he did many loop-di-loops and figure eights in the process. He didn't get hurt though! But, as it was for me, getting up is the hardest part. My arms can even make it to 90 degrees today, my left leg is very much so unhappy, my right hip kept me awake last night, and my tushie is hurting again because of an injury I took last year. Seriously, the one fall I had, I smoked me knee on the lovely ice that Nakiska has on their slopes, and whacked my tush, all in one attempt to keep my self from going into the trees. Awesome. But this year, I went all the way to the top of the moutain and came down; the easy way mind you, but the trail is narrower and steeper than the other ones I've been on.
So yeah, last night, sleep just would not come. At about 11pm I gave up, got in the shower, and by 12:30 or 1 I was on my way to Three Hills with Dave and Curt, who were also still up. We went on a "Chicken Run" to the Macs, but only got junk food. The clerk there was so nice. He was from Pakistan, spoke English, and was so tired. He told me that he was taught to drink warm milk to stay awake over in Pakistan. Poor guy. I told him that calcium actually helps aid the sleeping process. When we left, he was drinking orange juice. We got home sometime close to 2:30am, and I found myself at the coffe shop at 7:20am.
Today, I work a nine hour shift, then will likely go home and pass out. Tomorrow morning, the usual crew and I are heading out to Banff for the day. Oh! I almost forgot. Vancouver is just now finally getting around to reviewing my application. I only sent them my application two or three months ago, and my transcripts 7 weeks ago. Oh well, I can't be bothered; I'm just so excited!
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Again With the Waiting
It is Tuesday morning of what could quite possibly be one of the best weeks of my life. Or at least that's what I'm saying, anyway. I had the privilage of talking to one of my neighbours the other day, dear Ms. Falk, and she so wisely said that it is pessimism that makes life so difficult. Not that I'm depressed or unhappy about anything really; I am just looking at this week as awesome!
Actually, I have good reason to be so chipper. Mainly because my boss is back! I got to sleep in yesterday. All the way to 7:30. Also, I get to go snowboarding and stay at a hotel near the hill on Thursday-Friday, then come home and head out to Banff (we're going this weekend instead and taking David with us), and I think I've figured out what I'm going to do with my jobs. This week, and hopefully this week alone, I am working four. Fortunatly the coffee shop gives me more of a social life than I can handle already.
Still no definate news from Ontario or BC. Vancouver is back dated and my file should be reviewed again this week (I called yesterday because I hadn't heard from them in six weeks), and I have passed first wave admission down east, but failed to meet their requirements for early admisson because my transcript got there too late. What a bummer! Either way though, I have decided that I definatly want to fly down to Toronto to visit my family before school starts. I don't really know where my life is taking me at this point, and I certainly don't know when I will be able to make it down there to catch up with them again.
This whole waiting on colleges thing has really been trying my patience. I heard back from the one that was the wasy way out first, the one I used to want second, my second favorite third, and my number one has yet to get back to me because they are so back logged. I find this...ironic? I have a feeling God is trying to teach me something here; normally I'm spoiled with this sort of thing because I am fairly smart, charasmatic and so determined that I usually get everything I want within my time frame. This is now out of my control and I'll admitt, it drives me crazy some days. I think the keyword here is: Faith. I know a lot of people are praying for me, but perhaps I should be praying more. Now don't get me wrong; I usually shoot up a little prayer here and there throughout the day, but maybe some more serious meditation is in order. I just don't know.
Actually, I have good reason to be so chipper. Mainly because my boss is back! I got to sleep in yesterday. All the way to 7:30. Also, I get to go snowboarding and stay at a hotel near the hill on Thursday-Friday, then come home and head out to Banff (we're going this weekend instead and taking David with us), and I think I've figured out what I'm going to do with my jobs. This week, and hopefully this week alone, I am working four. Fortunatly the coffee shop gives me more of a social life than I can handle already.
Still no definate news from Ontario or BC. Vancouver is back dated and my file should be reviewed again this week (I called yesterday because I hadn't heard from them in six weeks), and I have passed first wave admission down east, but failed to meet their requirements for early admisson because my transcript got there too late. What a bummer! Either way though, I have decided that I definatly want to fly down to Toronto to visit my family before school starts. I don't really know where my life is taking me at this point, and I certainly don't know when I will be able to make it down there to catch up with them again.
This whole waiting on colleges thing has really been trying my patience. I heard back from the one that was the wasy way out first, the one I used to want second, my second favorite third, and my number one has yet to get back to me because they are so back logged. I find this...ironic? I have a feeling God is trying to teach me something here; normally I'm spoiled with this sort of thing because I am fairly smart, charasmatic and so determined that I usually get everything I want within my time frame. This is now out of my control and I'll admitt, it drives me crazy some days. I think the keyword here is: Faith. I know a lot of people are praying for me, but perhaps I should be praying more. Now don't get me wrong; I usually shoot up a little prayer here and there throughout the day, but maybe some more serious meditation is in order. I just don't know.
....
I was reading the newspaper this morning and saw this picture on the front page of the Money section. It bothered me. It showed a gas pump in Florida that is selling "Terror- Free Oil." It has one side of the pump devoted to oil from U.S. Frienldies and the other to Non-Friendlies. The caption underneath reads: " 'Fill 'er up with some high octane, low-terror, please.' A group based in Florida plans to open gas stations selling fuel made from oil that doesn't benefit states that support terroism." Seriously, if you can get your hands on a Calgary Sun, take a look at the Money section. It's right there on the front. I would love to hear thoughts.
Friday, January 19, 2007
Non-Alcoholic Hangovers
So, I have come to learn that it is entirely possible to be drunk even after consuming not one ounce of alcohol. This has been happening frequently recently, just ask Laura, and I'm entirely feeling the effects of something this morning. Not to mention, I have had a killer headache almost everyday this week.
Tomorrow is my last day as "boss" at the coffee shop, and you know what? Throughout everything, I've had a bunch of fun. But don't get me wrong: I am looking forward to sleeping in on Monday morning!
This whole week, the 11 hour days have been split between me and Laura; I've worked the 6-7 and a half hour shifts all week and I am tired. It's not a long time to be working here, but with multiplying cleaning jobs on top of that, some days have been as long as 13-14 hours. My feet are rather upset with me, and I need John to pop a few vertarbrae back in when he gets back.
See, I'm not sure if I've said this before, but my dear Zaira got her first bad experience of Canadian winters by slipping on the ice and rather seriously spraining her ankle. She has been out for a week now. Thank goodness Laura and I have each other, but we are wearing ourselves pretty thin making up for all the work that still needs to be done. In fact, we're taking off to Banff on Sunday just for a nice breather; a time to spend with our neglected friends and simply NOT WORK. I know this pretty makes me sound like a wuss, but weekends essentially don't exist for Laura or myself. We both work 7 days a week somewhere or other, and only because of recent developments are we both able to take a whole day off (Sunday), once a week. I must admitt, it is pretty dang fabulous.
I start working at Cousins next week. I'm actually going to be cooking their food, rather than washing their dishes. I'm very excited. I love the ladies there. So, unitl the end of the month, I am going to have four jobs. Four! I'm crazy. Starting next month however, I am having to drop either Jo-Al's or cleaning the Cousins, and it is up to me to decided. You'd think it would be easy! But heck, there are just as many pros for one job as the other, and the same is true with the cons. As I see it at this moment though, Cousins is going to be dropped. It's a really tough decision though; I seriously love both.
Yesterday I had a neew experience. A guy gave me his phone number. It was so...bizarre? I didn't ask for it, knowingly anyhow, nor did I particularly want it. So strange. Flattering, but strange. And this guy, though really nice, and polite and a genuine good guy, has to be close to ten years older than me. I think he doesn't know how old I am though, which might have persuaded him against being interested in me. Anyway, after he left, I was just so dumbfounded; I felt like a deer in headlights, so I ended up on the phone with my dear Jess, who offered me some good advice on how to turn him down. I have turned down guys in the past (guy, really) ,and he was my friend. Keyword: was. Since I turned him down, (and I feel like it was done poorly on my behalf), we haven't really talked and he pretty much avoided me for the remainder of Grade 12. I never see him now, and he still lives up the hill from my folks. Anyway, it was just the most extreme case of a guy showing serious interest in me that I have experienced at the shop, and it was just kind of weird.
Anyway, got to go. I'll write more later.
Tomorrow is my last day as "boss" at the coffee shop, and you know what? Throughout everything, I've had a bunch of fun. But don't get me wrong: I am looking forward to sleeping in on Monday morning!
This whole week, the 11 hour days have been split between me and Laura; I've worked the 6-7 and a half hour shifts all week and I am tired. It's not a long time to be working here, but with multiplying cleaning jobs on top of that, some days have been as long as 13-14 hours. My feet are rather upset with me, and I need John to pop a few vertarbrae back in when he gets back.
See, I'm not sure if I've said this before, but my dear Zaira got her first bad experience of Canadian winters by slipping on the ice and rather seriously spraining her ankle. She has been out for a week now. Thank goodness Laura and I have each other, but we are wearing ourselves pretty thin making up for all the work that still needs to be done. In fact, we're taking off to Banff on Sunday just for a nice breather; a time to spend with our neglected friends and simply NOT WORK. I know this pretty makes me sound like a wuss, but weekends essentially don't exist for Laura or myself. We both work 7 days a week somewhere or other, and only because of recent developments are we both able to take a whole day off (Sunday), once a week. I must admitt, it is pretty dang fabulous.
I start working at Cousins next week. I'm actually going to be cooking their food, rather than washing their dishes. I'm very excited. I love the ladies there. So, unitl the end of the month, I am going to have four jobs. Four! I'm crazy. Starting next month however, I am having to drop either Jo-Al's or cleaning the Cousins, and it is up to me to decided. You'd think it would be easy! But heck, there are just as many pros for one job as the other, and the same is true with the cons. As I see it at this moment though, Cousins is going to be dropped. It's a really tough decision though; I seriously love both.
Yesterday I had a neew experience. A guy gave me his phone number. It was so...bizarre? I didn't ask for it, knowingly anyhow, nor did I particularly want it. So strange. Flattering, but strange. And this guy, though really nice, and polite and a genuine good guy, has to be close to ten years older than me. I think he doesn't know how old I am though, which might have persuaded him against being interested in me. Anyway, after he left, I was just so dumbfounded; I felt like a deer in headlights, so I ended up on the phone with my dear Jess, who offered me some good advice on how to turn him down. I have turned down guys in the past (guy, really) ,and he was my friend. Keyword: was. Since I turned him down, (and I feel like it was done poorly on my behalf), we haven't really talked and he pretty much avoided me for the remainder of Grade 12. I never see him now, and he still lives up the hill from my folks. Anyway, it was just the most extreme case of a guy showing serious interest in me that I have experienced at the shop, and it was just kind of weird.
Anyway, got to go. I'll write more later.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Day Four
So, the boss has been gone for four days now, I think. So far, I'm still slive. I'm proud of myself in that I have been able to solve almost every issue that has come along so far.
Day one found me struggling to find a way to fix our printer and a broken internet connection. Day two gave me the same two issues and a dead mouse, as well as some financial miscounts. But, by the afternoon, everything had resolved itself. Day three dealt me out a broken lock, which I can only pray has been lubed up, as I had requested.
I had today off, which was nice. The day was far too short, however, and I'm not really wanting to go back tomorrow. I'm starting to feel a little bit stressed; okay, rather stressed. I want everything to be good and accounted for and for the boss to be impressed with our work upon her return. Hopefully, things keep working out.
Day one found me struggling to find a way to fix our printer and a broken internet connection. Day two gave me the same two issues and a dead mouse, as well as some financial miscounts. But, by the afternoon, everything had resolved itself. Day three dealt me out a broken lock, which I can only pray has been lubed up, as I had requested.
I had today off, which was nice. The day was far too short, however, and I'm not really wanting to go back tomorrow. I'm starting to feel a little bit stressed; okay, rather stressed. I want everything to be good and accounted for and for the boss to be impressed with our work upon her return. Hopefully, things keep working out.
Friday, January 05, 2007
My First MasterCard
So, not too much has been happening recently. I started working my third job, and am now going to be starting a fourth in a couple of weeks, I hope.
Oh! I feel so grown-up. I got my first credit card! I'm terrified of it, but I have one. I even used it this week to buy something for my brother. It's pretty exciting.
My "sister" April came to town for a visit yesterday. I was so happy to see her and meet her new beau, and even catch up with her Dad. I haven't really seen her since September, which is a long time for us. We've been having some minor troubles keeping in touch, but are constantly blessed whenever the communiques come along. She only lives and hour away, in the city I frequent, but for some reason we never get the oppertunity or think to get together. Unfortunate, I know.
So, for two weeks now, I am responsible for the coffee shop. I'm not too worried about it or anything; I normally have a lot of responsibilities there anyhow, but now, everything is on my shoulders. I am actually excited about it. I'm wanting to see how good of a leader I can actually be. I mean, I have taken care of the shop on my own before, but only for a couple days. Not two weeks! So everyone, come buy lots of coffee so Wendy can be pleasently suprised when she comes back!
Tomorrow night I'm going to this comedy thing in Calgary with some guys; it is Ron White a.k.a. Redneck comedy. I love it! I'm so excited. I miss hanging out with guys. It used to be that I spent more of my time with guys than girls, but things quickly changed when school ended and i feel somewhat deprived. Besides, I'm going with two of the funniest guys I know; how good could it possibly get?
I'm so excited! I get to play bass again at church on Sunday! I love playing for worship. The team is always uplifting and the songs just seem more powerful when I to play along with them. God ministers more to me through chords and beats rather than words. That's weird to say, because I write. A lot. I'm not ver musical; I'm still pretty novice. I'm gifted with the laguage skills more than anything. But still, that's the way it is.
Well, now that I am all dolled up, I think it is about time to go to the Cousins for supper. Here's me wishing you a very merry January 5th, 2007!
Oh! I feel so grown-up. I got my first credit card! I'm terrified of it, but I have one. I even used it this week to buy something for my brother. It's pretty exciting.
My "sister" April came to town for a visit yesterday. I was so happy to see her and meet her new beau, and even catch up with her Dad. I haven't really seen her since September, which is a long time for us. We've been having some minor troubles keeping in touch, but are constantly blessed whenever the communiques come along. She only lives and hour away, in the city I frequent, but for some reason we never get the oppertunity or think to get together. Unfortunate, I know.
So, for two weeks now, I am responsible for the coffee shop. I'm not too worried about it or anything; I normally have a lot of responsibilities there anyhow, but now, everything is on my shoulders. I am actually excited about it. I'm wanting to see how good of a leader I can actually be. I mean, I have taken care of the shop on my own before, but only for a couple days. Not two weeks! So everyone, come buy lots of coffee so Wendy can be pleasently suprised when she comes back!
Tomorrow night I'm going to this comedy thing in Calgary with some guys; it is Ron White a.k.a. Redneck comedy. I love it! I'm so excited. I miss hanging out with guys. It used to be that I spent more of my time with guys than girls, but things quickly changed when school ended and i feel somewhat deprived. Besides, I'm going with two of the funniest guys I know; how good could it possibly get?
I'm so excited! I get to play bass again at church on Sunday! I love playing for worship. The team is always uplifting and the songs just seem more powerful when I to play along with them. God ministers more to me through chords and beats rather than words. That's weird to say, because I write. A lot. I'm not ver musical; I'm still pretty novice. I'm gifted with the laguage skills more than anything. But still, that's the way it is.
Well, now that I am all dolled up, I think it is about time to go to the Cousins for supper. Here's me wishing you a very merry January 5th, 2007!
Monday, January 01, 2007
Feliz Navidad y Prosperos Ano Felizidad!
Happy New Year and a very belated Merry Christmas to you all! The past week has been both very busy and extremely lazy. I have officially celebrated my first Christmas away from home! How I feel all growed up.
I actually celebrated Christmas about five times this year. I ate an unbelievable amount of food, and suprisingly only gained two pounds, which I have already lost. Pretty great, I know. I must have been starving or something.
Santa was good to me, so to speak. But you know, I'm just not really into Christmas presents or anything. Now, don't get me wrong, I love recieving gifts, but I just don't see why it is required that we all give gifts on the same day, once a year. I like to suprise people with presents when I can; the smiles are way bigger that way. Anyway, I was able to spoil my family for one, and I loved it. Just ask anyone who had to spend Christmas Eve with me. I was astonished: I actually made my mom happy. That totally never happens.
I celebrated with my roomies first, then my folks, the Thiessens, the Penners, and the Dicks over the course of four days. The days went by freakishly fast, and then they were suddenly done. I'm sad; I had a blast!
By the time the 28th came around, I was exhausted and wanted only to loaf around my house. So, Laura and I decided to have a "girlie" day. This means sitting around, dressed to the nines and watching chick flicks. It was awesome. We quite litterally accomplished nothing all day.
By the time Friday came around I thought I should probably do something constructive, so I worked four four or five hours cleaning, then went to Three Hills with Laura and spent the night watching scary movies. I think it is safe to say that going back to work early tomorrow morning is going to be quite jarring to my current laziness routine. Oh well.
For New Year's we had a couple of people we hold dear over and played lots of Dutch Blitz and XBox. Awesome! I love John and Julie! Julie and I were a team and totally beat everyone at Burnout. Take that Curt and Dave and John! Julie and I don't even play video games usually! Bah! I'm so happy.
I didn't make any resolutions this year, not that I ever really have set any in the past either. I'm just excited to see what this year brings! 2006 was insanely eventful and filled with tribulations and moments that I know I'll be thinking about a hundred years from now, in good ways. God really blessed me (I finally said it! It took me 6 months, but I'm getting there. Wherever "there" is). I'm just twitching to see where I'll be a year from now. Everything is chaning drastically; everything is going to be completely different. It's like a really good roller coaster or something. It scares the poopies out of me, but I just have to keep going on it because it is so fun/scary. I'm smiling right now, just so you can imagine me saying that.
I actually celebrated Christmas about five times this year. I ate an unbelievable amount of food, and suprisingly only gained two pounds, which I have already lost. Pretty great, I know. I must have been starving or something.
Santa was good to me, so to speak. But you know, I'm just not really into Christmas presents or anything. Now, don't get me wrong, I love recieving gifts, but I just don't see why it is required that we all give gifts on the same day, once a year. I like to suprise people with presents when I can; the smiles are way bigger that way. Anyway, I was able to spoil my family for one, and I loved it. Just ask anyone who had to spend Christmas Eve with me. I was astonished: I actually made my mom happy. That totally never happens.
I celebrated with my roomies first, then my folks, the Thiessens, the Penners, and the Dicks over the course of four days. The days went by freakishly fast, and then they were suddenly done. I'm sad; I had a blast!
By the time the 28th came around, I was exhausted and wanted only to loaf around my house. So, Laura and I decided to have a "girlie" day. This means sitting around, dressed to the nines and watching chick flicks. It was awesome. We quite litterally accomplished nothing all day.
By the time Friday came around I thought I should probably do something constructive, so I worked four four or five hours cleaning, then went to Three Hills with Laura and spent the night watching scary movies. I think it is safe to say that going back to work early tomorrow morning is going to be quite jarring to my current laziness routine. Oh well.
For New Year's we had a couple of people we hold dear over and played lots of Dutch Blitz and XBox. Awesome! I love John and Julie! Julie and I were a team and totally beat everyone at Burnout. Take that Curt and Dave and John! Julie and I don't even play video games usually! Bah! I'm so happy.
I didn't make any resolutions this year, not that I ever really have set any in the past either. I'm just excited to see what this year brings! 2006 was insanely eventful and filled with tribulations and moments that I know I'll be thinking about a hundred years from now, in good ways. God really blessed me (I finally said it! It took me 6 months, but I'm getting there. Wherever "there" is). I'm just twitching to see where I'll be a year from now. Everything is chaning drastically; everything is going to be completely different. It's like a really good roller coaster or something. It scares the poopies out of me, but I just have to keep going on it because it is so fun/scary. I'm smiling right now, just so you can imagine me saying that.
Friday, December 22, 2006
As The World Turns
It is now just a wee bit past 4pm on Friday, December 22nd 2006, and I have just realized that I am not the same person I was yesterday. Does that make me sound crazy? So be it then.
I found myself reflecting on the past 18 and a half years of my life last night with Zaira and suddenly noticed how much i have changed. It's kind of crazy really. It makes me want to cry for some unknown reason.
Once upon a time, I moved to Beiseker from Calgary, whereupon I entered Playschool and offically came under the scrutiny of "The Man." But I loved it. I have always loved school. I spent the major years of my childhood in Beiseker. I had an awesome friend when I was really young (Kindergarten) whome I find myself thinking of rather often. His name is Ben Laslow. We have the same birthday (yy/mm/dd) and his older sister is named Becky. He moved away first. I wonder where he's at right now. We were betrothed to each other. Seriously, but not at all.
I loved Beiseker; I said it, it came out, and it's true. It's kind of home to me. I loved gallavanting around the swamp catching frogs and getting eaten by army ants in the summer with my big brother and the Fasts. I loved school, wehre I didn't really have any friends, but the teachers loved me! I love Mrs. MacNaughton. She taught me Grades 1 and 4; she was my favorite. She always wore this necklace that had some sort of ord on the end that jingled a little bit. She taught us the "Twist and Shout" song and we changed up the lyrics, mostly with the help of Jordan Peckham and Justin Schmaltz, for Mrs. Doring for Secretary's Day. She was the beautiful, short, white haired Secretary at the school. I thought my Grade 3 teacher, Ms. O'Handley was dating Superman, because she told me she was. She also taught me how to say "busier." Mrs. Schriber was my Grade 2 teacher, and I wrote the best story she had ever recieved from one of her students. It was my first story and it had a complete plot line and developing characters and everything. I was afraid of Mr. Chow, the High school computer teacher, because I thoought he carried nun-chucks in his back pocket. I remeber Jenna-Rae singing "Barbie Girl" in the North bootroom and I remeber Alex always wearing suits in Kindergarten. I later went to school with boths kids up in Linden and Acme. I had a crush on Alex because one afternoon we were out picking icicles off of the eaves during break in Kindergaretn and he climbed up and got a really big one for me.
I remember Mrs. Harder (whom I always believed to be a witch) driving me home on me last school day ever at Beiseker. She told me that she would really miss me and that I was one of the specialist amd most talented young ladies she had ever known. I gripped my garbage bag full of school stuff. I didn't want to leave.
Theresa came up to Linden with me once on the day we moved. She was my only "real" friend. She left her sock at my house and I never gave it back. I never really saw her again until my Grad (she was dating one of my classmates); I sent her letters the whole first year but never heard back.
I met Laura and Jared the the same time at church. Laura and I had the same shoes. Laura's mom didn't really like me so we didn't really hang out too often. I became pretty good friends with Shari instead. I remember falling for this boy named Brady the second I saw him in Grade 5. His mom was super nice to me.
I honestly don't remember too much of Linden as I first came to know it. I know all the guys I had crushes on: Brady, Curt, Josh, Joel, Josh Evan, Josh, Jake, Jared, Brady. That is in chronological order too by the way. Brady was ironically the first boyfriend I ever really had (Brett didn't count), the first boy I have ever completely fallen in love with (still love 'em now! Just differently, sort of. I guess), first boy I ever kissed, and the first to ever break my heart.
IwhenI was in Grade 7 my Dad lost his last real job. He used to work in the city at a desk, that is why I call it his last real job. He has worked many different things since, but nothing has been as steady as that last one. When I was in Grade 8 or 9, can't remember, my Grandpa Tomlinson died from a type of leukemia. He, out of all four of my grandparents, was the one I knew best. He had a dog named Mandy that I loved. He used to call every Sunday night and talke to my family. I stayed at Laura's house for a few days while my mom and Dad flew out to Toronto for the funeral.
When I was in playschool, we flew out to Toronto for my Grandma's Tomlinson's funeral. It was sometime around Valentine's day because Ben collected all of my Valentines for me and gave me a kiss on the cheek when I came back.
I was in the hospital room when my Grandma passed. I saw my Dad cry. I was holding his hand and mom's hand. All of Grandma's kids were in the room when she passed. Mom took me and Andrew out and gave us Juicy Fruit because we didn't really understand what had just happened.
Jr. high and Grades 5 and 6 are pretty much a blur to me. I didn't enjoy them really. I didn't really like Linden. I wasn't really connected to anyone. When high school came around, life finally began having zest to it. I ran down to Lethbridge one random night right before Halloween and my first Social unit final. Totally spontaneously, April and i found ourselves on a Greyhound going south for the night. I missed my test but made it up the next day.
Also in Grade 10, two of my brother's classmates were killed in a horrible xcar accident on their way to a basketball game. A few of my own class mates were in the vehicle too. I was so scared and suddenly realized the futility of life.
In Grade 11, I went to Mexico on a mission's trip and got my first job. I was also in a band, whose memebers I love more than anything. Nothing, even now, could keep me from getting to them upon a beckon, not hell or high seas.
Grade 11 was the best year with them. We won the local of Battle of the Bands. Jared and I also became uber close. I had to sleep over at his house a couple of times because, at the time, there wasa a man living in my house who loved the drink and made my life a living hell.
Grade 12 brought me my boyfriend and Grad. Then, in the past 6 months, I have struggled with the "growing up" thing. Y'all know that end of the story though. I've been drunk, I got my primary place of work broken into, I've said goodbye so many times, been dirt poor (frequently suffering from a balance of zero), accquired three more jobs, and now am about to experience my first Christmas "away" from home. I've been blessed by my roommates and their love for me (thought I have torouble seeing why they love me), Zaira, my boss, David...everyone. I know everyone now. It takes me 15mins to check the mail from the coffee shop ( which is a block and a half away from the coffee shop) because I have to stop and talk to everyone on the way. Opposite of what I was, I am now finding myself connected to everyone. Everyone knows me, and for some reason thinks that I'm a goood, sweet girl. True, but jeez, I'm not perfect.
This entry, though hopefully providing enjoyment for you, was primarily written for my own benefit. I haven't thought back so much in years. I have so many more memories that I love, but I want to keep them my own for now.
Whatever the case, I have come to see that every day I am changing; everyday I am not the person I was the day beofre and will not be as I will the day after. After an hour of typing, I am left wondering where this road will take me.
I found myself reflecting on the past 18 and a half years of my life last night with Zaira and suddenly noticed how much i have changed. It's kind of crazy really. It makes me want to cry for some unknown reason.
Once upon a time, I moved to Beiseker from Calgary, whereupon I entered Playschool and offically came under the scrutiny of "The Man." But I loved it. I have always loved school. I spent the major years of my childhood in Beiseker. I had an awesome friend when I was really young (Kindergarten) whome I find myself thinking of rather often. His name is Ben Laslow. We have the same birthday (yy/mm/dd) and his older sister is named Becky. He moved away first. I wonder where he's at right now. We were betrothed to each other. Seriously, but not at all.
I loved Beiseker; I said it, it came out, and it's true. It's kind of home to me. I loved gallavanting around the swamp catching frogs and getting eaten by army ants in the summer with my big brother and the Fasts. I loved school, wehre I didn't really have any friends, but the teachers loved me! I love Mrs. MacNaughton. She taught me Grades 1 and 4; she was my favorite. She always wore this necklace that had some sort of ord on the end that jingled a little bit. She taught us the "Twist and Shout" song and we changed up the lyrics, mostly with the help of Jordan Peckham and Justin Schmaltz, for Mrs. Doring for Secretary's Day. She was the beautiful, short, white haired Secretary at the school. I thought my Grade 3 teacher, Ms. O'Handley was dating Superman, because she told me she was. She also taught me how to say "busier." Mrs. Schriber was my Grade 2 teacher, and I wrote the best story she had ever recieved from one of her students. It was my first story and it had a complete plot line and developing characters and everything. I was afraid of Mr. Chow, the High school computer teacher, because I thoought he carried nun-chucks in his back pocket. I remeber Jenna-Rae singing "Barbie Girl" in the North bootroom and I remeber Alex always wearing suits in Kindergarten. I later went to school with boths kids up in Linden and Acme. I had a crush on Alex because one afternoon we were out picking icicles off of the eaves during break in Kindergaretn and he climbed up and got a really big one for me.
I remember Mrs. Harder (whom I always believed to be a witch) driving me home on me last school day ever at Beiseker. She told me that she would really miss me and that I was one of the specialist amd most talented young ladies she had ever known. I gripped my garbage bag full of school stuff. I didn't want to leave.
Theresa came up to Linden with me once on the day we moved. She was my only "real" friend. She left her sock at my house and I never gave it back. I never really saw her again until my Grad (she was dating one of my classmates); I sent her letters the whole first year but never heard back.
I met Laura and Jared the the same time at church. Laura and I had the same shoes. Laura's mom didn't really like me so we didn't really hang out too often. I became pretty good friends with Shari instead. I remember falling for this boy named Brady the second I saw him in Grade 5. His mom was super nice to me.
I honestly don't remember too much of Linden as I first came to know it. I know all the guys I had crushes on: Brady, Curt, Josh, Joel, Josh Evan, Josh, Jake, Jared, Brady. That is in chronological order too by the way. Brady was ironically the first boyfriend I ever really had (Brett didn't count), the first boy I have ever completely fallen in love with (still love 'em now! Just differently, sort of. I guess), first boy I ever kissed, and the first to ever break my heart.
IwhenI was in Grade 7 my Dad lost his last real job. He used to work in the city at a desk, that is why I call it his last real job. He has worked many different things since, but nothing has been as steady as that last one. When I was in Grade 8 or 9, can't remember, my Grandpa Tomlinson died from a type of leukemia. He, out of all four of my grandparents, was the one I knew best. He had a dog named Mandy that I loved. He used to call every Sunday night and talke to my family. I stayed at Laura's house for a few days while my mom and Dad flew out to Toronto for the funeral.
When I was in playschool, we flew out to Toronto for my Grandma's Tomlinson's funeral. It was sometime around Valentine's day because Ben collected all of my Valentines for me and gave me a kiss on the cheek when I came back.
I was in the hospital room when my Grandma passed. I saw my Dad cry. I was holding his hand and mom's hand. All of Grandma's kids were in the room when she passed. Mom took me and Andrew out and gave us Juicy Fruit because we didn't really understand what had just happened.
Jr. high and Grades 5 and 6 are pretty much a blur to me. I didn't enjoy them really. I didn't really like Linden. I wasn't really connected to anyone. When high school came around, life finally began having zest to it. I ran down to Lethbridge one random night right before Halloween and my first Social unit final. Totally spontaneously, April and i found ourselves on a Greyhound going south for the night. I missed my test but made it up the next day.
Also in Grade 10, two of my brother's classmates were killed in a horrible xcar accident on their way to a basketball game. A few of my own class mates were in the vehicle too. I was so scared and suddenly realized the futility of life.
In Grade 11, I went to Mexico on a mission's trip and got my first job. I was also in a band, whose memebers I love more than anything. Nothing, even now, could keep me from getting to them upon a beckon, not hell or high seas.
Grade 11 was the best year with them. We won the local of Battle of the Bands. Jared and I also became uber close. I had to sleep over at his house a couple of times because, at the time, there wasa a man living in my house who loved the drink and made my life a living hell.
Grade 12 brought me my boyfriend and Grad. Then, in the past 6 months, I have struggled with the "growing up" thing. Y'all know that end of the story though. I've been drunk, I got my primary place of work broken into, I've said goodbye so many times, been dirt poor (frequently suffering from a balance of zero), accquired three more jobs, and now am about to experience my first Christmas "away" from home. I've been blessed by my roommates and their love for me (thought I have torouble seeing why they love me), Zaira, my boss, David...everyone. I know everyone now. It takes me 15mins to check the mail from the coffee shop ( which is a block and a half away from the coffee shop) because I have to stop and talk to everyone on the way. Opposite of what I was, I am now finding myself connected to everyone. Everyone knows me, and for some reason thinks that I'm a goood, sweet girl. True, but jeez, I'm not perfect.
This entry, though hopefully providing enjoyment for you, was primarily written for my own benefit. I haven't thought back so much in years. I have so many more memories that I love, but I want to keep them my own for now.
Whatever the case, I have come to see that every day I am changing; everyday I am not the person I was the day beofre and will not be as I will the day after. After an hour of typing, I am left wondering where this road will take me.
Saturday, December 16, 2006
A Small Crime
I went to Edmonton yesterday with some friends to watch Dave's final jury for this semester. I'm thinking, Holy crap! That kid has some serious talent.
It was kind of weird being in a music school. I play bass myself, and I doubt I could ever make it through music school. I mean, i practise and all, I love music; but seriously doubt I could ever cathc up to some of the kids there. but then again, I am better than a few of them. Marginally, but none the less.
University update: I have been accepted to both Grant McEwan (same school I was kicking around yesterday) as well as the University of Alberta. Last year, I was sure I was going to the U of A: it was where I wanted to be. But, things change I guess. Now, a year later, it just doesn't feel quite right. Though, and this is foolish I know, I was planning on going to Edmonton partly because of a boy, and now things have fallen through and the desire has gone with it. I told you, foolish!
I wish that I had more interesting things to write here. Like I keep saying: my life is boring at the moment. Actually, this week was insanely hard for me. I don't really have an excuse, but for the past while, I really have not been myself. It's been tough; I've been angry, rude to the people I interact with, tired, feeling hopeless and lost: just down right unhappy. This has not been pleasent. I'm thinking of getting some counselling because of it. That's a good idea right? I think? Don't really know, but I do know I have to get past these "walls" in my brain. They suck. I hate walls. Except the ones that keep me warm. Those ones I like.
Seriously though, the amount of stress has been accumulating exponentially recently. I'm having trouble sleeping again and my body has been grumpy with me; I've been going to my massage therapist far more frequently. With my bills going up and my income not, I have been feeling rather discouraged. At the moment it isn't so bad for some reason, but it really has been troubling me. Who do I talk to about that? I cut my spending and everything, and still I have no money. Why is it so expensive to live? And gas? For Pete's sake, our house is never warm. Upstaris yes, but the basement is usually freezing and the furnace is ALWAYS running. It bothers me.
But anyway, yeah. It has just been a frustraing couple of weeks for me. I've been struggling with self perception and how much I value myself and how the stupid world views beauty. I think I just want to move to another planet where I can live out my days in peace. I'm not saying I see myself as ugly or anything, but certainly not attractive. I have the grossest teeth you've ever seen, and I can not possibly afford to have them fixerd, and never have been. I'm also not narrow waisted, perfectly thin...gosh it's dumb. And then my male roommate had to go and make a stupid comment about a girl we saw on TV that also didn't perfectly fit the bill of "attractive." What the beans is that supposed to mean anyway? Attractive. Gosh, I know so many people, guys and girls, who are "attractive" on the outside and have nothing on the inside. They don't care about a single other human being because their world is made up of themselves. Sorry, bitter. I know. I'm just so sick of being labelled as "okay" or "permissable". I don't feel pretty as it is, nevermind feeling judged negativly. Even worse, I can't remember the last time i did something good for someone else. I hate it! I used to be al volunteerish and loved it, and now, can't seem to find an outlet for it at all. I can't remember the last time I made someone happier. Jeez, how many wasted days? I haven't a single excuse either.
It was kind of weird being in a music school. I play bass myself, and I doubt I could ever make it through music school. I mean, i practise and all, I love music; but seriously doubt I could ever cathc up to some of the kids there. but then again, I am better than a few of them. Marginally, but none the less.
University update: I have been accepted to both Grant McEwan (same school I was kicking around yesterday) as well as the University of Alberta. Last year, I was sure I was going to the U of A: it was where I wanted to be. But, things change I guess. Now, a year later, it just doesn't feel quite right. Though, and this is foolish I know, I was planning on going to Edmonton partly because of a boy, and now things have fallen through and the desire has gone with it. I told you, foolish!
I wish that I had more interesting things to write here. Like I keep saying: my life is boring at the moment. Actually, this week was insanely hard for me. I don't really have an excuse, but for the past while, I really have not been myself. It's been tough; I've been angry, rude to the people I interact with, tired, feeling hopeless and lost: just down right unhappy. This has not been pleasent. I'm thinking of getting some counselling because of it. That's a good idea right? I think? Don't really know, but I do know I have to get past these "walls" in my brain. They suck. I hate walls. Except the ones that keep me warm. Those ones I like.
Seriously though, the amount of stress has been accumulating exponentially recently. I'm having trouble sleeping again and my body has been grumpy with me; I've been going to my massage therapist far more frequently. With my bills going up and my income not, I have been feeling rather discouraged. At the moment it isn't so bad for some reason, but it really has been troubling me. Who do I talk to about that? I cut my spending and everything, and still I have no money. Why is it so expensive to live? And gas? For Pete's sake, our house is never warm. Upstaris yes, but the basement is usually freezing and the furnace is ALWAYS running. It bothers me.
But anyway, yeah. It has just been a frustraing couple of weeks for me. I've been struggling with self perception and how much I value myself and how the stupid world views beauty. I think I just want to move to another planet where I can live out my days in peace. I'm not saying I see myself as ugly or anything, but certainly not attractive. I have the grossest teeth you've ever seen, and I can not possibly afford to have them fixerd, and never have been. I'm also not narrow waisted, perfectly thin...gosh it's dumb. And then my male roommate had to go and make a stupid comment about a girl we saw on TV that also didn't perfectly fit the bill of "attractive." What the beans is that supposed to mean anyway? Attractive. Gosh, I know so many people, guys and girls, who are "attractive" on the outside and have nothing on the inside. They don't care about a single other human being because their world is made up of themselves. Sorry, bitter. I know. I'm just so sick of being labelled as "okay" or "permissable". I don't feel pretty as it is, nevermind feeling judged negativly. Even worse, I can't remember the last time i did something good for someone else. I hate it! I used to be al volunteerish and loved it, and now, can't seem to find an outlet for it at all. I can't remember the last time I made someone happier. Jeez, how many wasted days? I haven't a single excuse either.
Friday, December 08, 2006
Waiting No More
Well, I got my first acceptence letter in the mail yesterday afternoon. It came from Grant McEwan College in Edmonton. They said that they would be happy to have me as a student. However, after visiting the campus and spending some time in Edmonton, I really feel that it is not the place for me. Obviously, because I never shut up about UBC. So, I also get the joys of sending in my first withdrawl of application. But hey, a college accepted me!!!!
Thursday, December 07, 2006
14 Days 'til Summer's a Comin'!
After ten day of absense, I still have basically nothing to write. I've been busy preparing for Christmas, both personally and at the Coffee Shop. It seems like there is just so much extra stuff I have to accomplish on my shift now; I'm in a constant frenzy split between cleaning, baking, making drinks, posters, updating spreadsheets, placing and extra-bulk unpacking orders, helping my sweet boss with this and that...phew. My shoes are quite broken in. By the way, if you're around town, stop in at Global Grounds for our "Krazy Kandy Kabobs." They're pretty cool; they consist of gummies on a skewer. Mmmmm. Gummies.
Anyway, my shopping is almost all done. I decided this year that after neglecting my family for 18 years, I was going to get them some pretty sweet gifts. I know they'll love them.And I got my roomies some cool presents too, and Virginia one as well, and that is it. I figured I would just get a few people some good presents--it was cheaper that way.
College front is loking pretty good. I haven't got any definate responses yet, but that's my fault. Laura and I are looking at possibly hopping on a plane and going to Toronto for a couple of days toscope out the campus at U of T, maybe sit in on a few classes; it's cool because if I go there, I'll possibly get to connect with my extended family. I've known of them my whole life, but only actually seen them twice or three times. If we make it down we'll be spending our time with my Aunt and Uncle in Missassaga (or however it's spelled), which I'm actually really looking forward to.
Financial concerns have been seriously bothering me recently. It seems every time I'm getting money saved up, not shopping or spending it on anything, my bills go up exponentially and it all goes away anyway. It is making me so angry. I've considered moving back home so things are easier and more productive on the savings end, but the rift mom and I have makes things harder on everyone when I'm around. I'm at a loss. I have decided I need to live on campus when I do go. I wanted to inthe first place, but then plans were changing and a friend was wanting to move with me and such, but the more I look at it, I need to make more new friends and live on a campus where there is no rent, meal plans, and no freaking bills. That way, with my part time job that I will have to get, I will actualyl be able to afford living, you know, food and possibly paying down the exponential student loans I'm going to need. Besides, I know U of T requires 1st years to live on campus, and I think UBC might have the same requirement.
I have really come to realize that the world does it's best to discourage a person. I've seen it succeed in some people I care about deeply, and thus refuse to let it win with me. I know that this is what I am supposed to do. God didn't make me into a missionary, pastor, Sunday school teacher--those good Holy things, nor did he make me a scientist (well, not really) or a mathamatician. I am a writter. I love language, learning and teaching it. It comes fairly easily to me, and I have been told I am an excellent teacher of it. I love cultures. I don't feel like I need to go to Bible school, get a business degree or be a nurse. Teahcing people how to communicate with each other and how interesting every little corner of the world is, is something that I'm passionate about. The blank stares that I get when I tell people what I want to do tell me that people just don't get that.
Anyone want to have a classic Christmas movie-athon with me? I love Christmas movies! "It's Wonderful Life" is the best, or tied with the stop-motion "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer."
Anyway, my shopping is almost all done. I decided this year that after neglecting my family for 18 years, I was going to get them some pretty sweet gifts. I know they'll love them.And I got my roomies some cool presents too, and Virginia one as well, and that is it. I figured I would just get a few people some good presents--it was cheaper that way.
College front is loking pretty good. I haven't got any definate responses yet, but that's my fault. Laura and I are looking at possibly hopping on a plane and going to Toronto for a couple of days toscope out the campus at U of T, maybe sit in on a few classes; it's cool because if I go there, I'll possibly get to connect with my extended family. I've known of them my whole life, but only actually seen them twice or three times. If we make it down we'll be spending our time with my Aunt and Uncle in Missassaga (or however it's spelled), which I'm actually really looking forward to.
Financial concerns have been seriously bothering me recently. It seems every time I'm getting money saved up, not shopping or spending it on anything, my bills go up exponentially and it all goes away anyway. It is making me so angry. I've considered moving back home so things are easier and more productive on the savings end, but the rift mom and I have makes things harder on everyone when I'm around. I'm at a loss. I have decided I need to live on campus when I do go. I wanted to inthe first place, but then plans were changing and a friend was wanting to move with me and such, but the more I look at it, I need to make more new friends and live on a campus where there is no rent, meal plans, and no freaking bills. That way, with my part time job that I will have to get, I will actualyl be able to afford living, you know, food and possibly paying down the exponential student loans I'm going to need. Besides, I know U of T requires 1st years to live on campus, and I think UBC might have the same requirement.
I have really come to realize that the world does it's best to discourage a person. I've seen it succeed in some people I care about deeply, and thus refuse to let it win with me. I know that this is what I am supposed to do. God didn't make me into a missionary, pastor, Sunday school teacher--those good Holy things, nor did he make me a scientist (well, not really) or a mathamatician. I am a writter. I love language, learning and teaching it. It comes fairly easily to me, and I have been told I am an excellent teacher of it. I love cultures. I don't feel like I need to go to Bible school, get a business degree or be a nurse. Teahcing people how to communicate with each other and how interesting every little corner of the world is, is something that I'm passionate about. The blank stares that I get when I tell people what I want to do tell me that people just don't get that.
Anyone want to have a classic Christmas movie-athon with me? I love Christmas movies! "It's Wonderful Life" is the best, or tied with the stop-motion "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer."
Monday, November 27, 2006
Playing the Waiting Game
Good news! I am starting to hear back from some of the universities I've applied to! I'm so excited! I just got a letter back from UCFV syaing that I have met all their requirements and passed their first wave admittence! I'm psyched. I also finally got my application papers for the University of Toronto. I know, I know. That one is far far away from home and in the complete opposite direction of the Pacific, but who knows? My Dad went there, all my family is down east; Victoria College on U of T campus has an excellent and rigerous Arts program, like UBC, and both can give me a great education. However, I feel like I have to read through a novel to fill out the OUAC application form. Seriously, it is about 85 pages of bilingual nonsense. I think it was written by lawyers.
I was starting to get a little nervous about not hearing from any schools. I will not know exactly where I'm going until probably May or June, but maybe as early as the end of Feburary. I've been struggling with the whole waiting thing. I'm a rather active person and my heart feels somewhat nomadic. I like to move around, make new friends, see new places, be faced with challenge; I need to feel like I'm learning something. Right now though, I honestly feel like I'm in a rut. I work all day every day, make no money, see the same people every day, say the same things every day, hear the same music--I can not stand it! I hate waiting for something greater to come along, but I know it has to be coming.
Don't get me wrong or anything. I care about the people in my life, I really do. My family means more to me now that I'm out of the house and my some of my friends me more to me now that I never see them. But to be honest, I haven't really found home. Several of my friend's families have "adopted" me (though I didn't really know I was up for adoption), but even they just don't feel like home. I just don't feel that attached to anyone or anything right now that would keep me in one place. I am nomadic. I am only where my feet are. That is what I consider to be my own. I really think that leaving everything I know behind will be a good thing for me; it might make me value what I have, and what I had, more. It might help me feel more connected to people.
Anyway, that was one big long rant.
Today was a bitter day of blizzarding snow and -37 wind chills. I'm sittin here at work with gloves on and a door that is partially frozen shut. There are four foot drifts on our deck and in my back yard, and sadly it it too cold to take my board out tonight. Feels like winter though. Fa-la-la-la-laa!
I was starting to get a little nervous about not hearing from any schools. I will not know exactly where I'm going until probably May or June, but maybe as early as the end of Feburary. I've been struggling with the whole waiting thing. I'm a rather active person and my heart feels somewhat nomadic. I like to move around, make new friends, see new places, be faced with challenge; I need to feel like I'm learning something. Right now though, I honestly feel like I'm in a rut. I work all day every day, make no money, see the same people every day, say the same things every day, hear the same music--I can not stand it! I hate waiting for something greater to come along, but I know it has to be coming.
Don't get me wrong or anything. I care about the people in my life, I really do. My family means more to me now that I'm out of the house and my some of my friends me more to me now that I never see them. But to be honest, I haven't really found home. Several of my friend's families have "adopted" me (though I didn't really know I was up for adoption), but even they just don't feel like home. I just don't feel that attached to anyone or anything right now that would keep me in one place. I am nomadic. I am only where my feet are. That is what I consider to be my own. I really think that leaving everything I know behind will be a good thing for me; it might make me value what I have, and what I had, more. It might help me feel more connected to people.
Anyway, that was one big long rant.
Today was a bitter day of blizzarding snow and -37 wind chills. I'm sittin here at work with gloves on and a door that is partially frozen shut. There are four foot drifts on our deck and in my back yard, and sadly it it too cold to take my board out tonight. Feels like winter though. Fa-la-la-la-laa!
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Shake Your Bon Bon
After yet another busy, boring week of work, I was happy to see my shift end on Saturday. I have realized how strict of a routine I have lodged myself into; I hate routine. I get up early every morning, work for a while, rest, go back to work, come home and go to bed. I see the same people almost everyday--there is so little varience in my life that it is beinging to get to me again.
Rather randomly, I found myself at the church on Saturday night, ready to take a belly dancing class. I had so much fun! I had a veil and learned to shake my booty! Zaira and I both went, and I think we both found it great to just be a little silly. We were all wearing veils and sari's and having a lot of fun playing with the chiffon.
Honestly though, belly dancing is hard! You have to isolate all of these different movements for different parts of your body: only your hips, or knees, or shoulders, or neck, or ribs can move at one time. Your arms are above your head half of the time and you have to walk with your hips shaking. It's a lot of fun though. I definatly want to do that again.
The class was part a new thing starting at my church called: DEW (Dance, evangelism, worship or "Dance for every woman"). Or at least, prospectivly starting up. I love the idea, because I love to dance (I can't, but love it) and the mind frame of the churches and most people around here is that dancing it not "holy," and especially not belly dancing. But it was a great way to release. There were about 15 women there, all of which who were a little bit hesistant to have fun at first. But then we all got into it and just had a blast! I couldn't move all of my body the way I was supposed to and just burst out into a fit of crazy-dance.
Then there was a short break with food and such, and then a little explaination of what the plan was for the class. The lady leading it said one of the coolest things at this time: "God created all kinds of dance." He did. It's true. Only Satan is what makes dance bad; he is the one that takes something beautiful and twists it, distorts it into something ugly. Her point was something like, "Why can't someone worship God with belly dancing? He created that too." I thought that this point was so cool.
After the little devotional thing, they turned on some worship music, turned down the lights and went at it. I am telling you, it was amazing! I saw women I have always known as stoic "church women" dancing their hearts out. No one told them to dance, no one told them to grab a veil and play with it like they were a little kid again, no one told them to sing; there was just so much freedom in that place. Everyone was just wrapped up in the presence of God and there was no way they could not hold their heart back from taking over. There were two woman dancing together in a jive, some on their own, some on their faces, and some just tapping their feet. There were mothers, daughters, grandmas, wives, young woman, boistrous woman, and timid woman and all were just letting themselves go. I tell you, I have never felt so much freedom in my life. It was beautiful. And it all came about by opening up with belly dancing. Amazing!
Rather randomly, I found myself at the church on Saturday night, ready to take a belly dancing class. I had so much fun! I had a veil and learned to shake my booty! Zaira and I both went, and I think we both found it great to just be a little silly. We were all wearing veils and sari's and having a lot of fun playing with the chiffon.
Honestly though, belly dancing is hard! You have to isolate all of these different movements for different parts of your body: only your hips, or knees, or shoulders, or neck, or ribs can move at one time. Your arms are above your head half of the time and you have to walk with your hips shaking. It's a lot of fun though. I definatly want to do that again.
The class was part a new thing starting at my church called: DEW (Dance, evangelism, worship or "Dance for every woman"). Or at least, prospectivly starting up. I love the idea, because I love to dance (I can't, but love it) and the mind frame of the churches and most people around here is that dancing it not "holy," and especially not belly dancing. But it was a great way to release. There were about 15 women there, all of which who were a little bit hesistant to have fun at first. But then we all got into it and just had a blast! I couldn't move all of my body the way I was supposed to and just burst out into a fit of crazy-dance.
Then there was a short break with food and such, and then a little explaination of what the plan was for the class. The lady leading it said one of the coolest things at this time: "God created all kinds of dance." He did. It's true. Only Satan is what makes dance bad; he is the one that takes something beautiful and twists it, distorts it into something ugly. Her point was something like, "Why can't someone worship God with belly dancing? He created that too." I thought that this point was so cool.
After the little devotional thing, they turned on some worship music, turned down the lights and went at it. I am telling you, it was amazing! I saw women I have always known as stoic "church women" dancing their hearts out. No one told them to dance, no one told them to grab a veil and play with it like they were a little kid again, no one told them to sing; there was just so much freedom in that place. Everyone was just wrapped up in the presence of God and there was no way they could not hold their heart back from taking over. There were two woman dancing together in a jive, some on their own, some on their faces, and some just tapping their feet. There were mothers, daughters, grandmas, wives, young woman, boistrous woman, and timid woman and all were just letting themselves go. I tell you, I have never felt so much freedom in my life. It was beautiful. And it all came about by opening up with belly dancing. Amazing!
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Dear Mr. Howard
So, I guess this is pretty cool. I'm now being published three times. Twice in a book and once on some editor's choice cut CD's. I guess that is pretty cool. The CD's are only a compliation of 33 authors. I'm one of them. Mr. Loewen is going to be so pround of me!
If you're wondering what exactly I'm getting published, I promise you, it isn't that much. In fact, I am very suprised to be recieving as much acclaimation as I am for this particular poem. If you're interested, take a look: (This is all my own original work and is copyrighted)
If you're wondering what exactly I'm getting published, I promise you, it isn't that much. In fact, I am very suprised to be recieving as much acclaimation as I am for this particular poem. If you're interested, take a look: (This is all my own original work and is copyrighted)
The Journey
(c) Rebecca Tomlinson
And at the end of the Journey
We will finally see:
Words have no meaning in eternity.
So take me from here
To that Higher place
To where my fears will leave no trace.
I will sprout my wings and finally see
That from my Journey,
I have at last been made free.
That's all. I have better things! Unfortunatly, they exceed the 24 line limit.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
