As The World Turns

It is now just a wee bit past 4pm on Friday, December 22nd 2006, and I have just realized that I am not the same person I was yesterday. Does that make me sound crazy? So be it then.
I found myself reflecting on the past 18 and a half years of my life last night with Zaira and suddenly noticed how much i have changed. It's kind of crazy really. It makes me want to cry for some unknown reason.
Once upon a time, I moved to Beiseker from Calgary, whereupon I entered Playschool and offically came under the scrutiny of "The Man." But I loved it. I have always loved school. I spent the major years of my childhood in Beiseker. I had an awesome friend when I was really young (Kindergarten) whome I find myself thinking of rather often. His name is Ben Laslow. We have the same birthday (yy/mm/dd) and his older sister is named Becky. He moved away first. I wonder where he's at right now. We were betrothed to each other. Seriously, but not at all.
I loved Beiseker; I said it, it came out, and it's true. It's kind of home to me. I loved gallavanting around the swamp catching frogs and getting eaten by army ants in the summer with my big brother and the Fasts. I loved school, wehre I didn't really have any friends, but the teachers loved me! I love Mrs. MacNaughton. She taught me Grades 1 and 4; she was my favorite. She always wore this necklace that had some sort of ord on the end that jingled a little bit. She taught us the "Twist and Shout" song and we changed up the lyrics, mostly with the help of Jordan Peckham and Justin Schmaltz, for Mrs. Doring for Secretary's Day. She was the beautiful, short, white haired Secretary at the school. I thought my Grade 3 teacher, Ms. O'Handley was dating Superman, because she told me she was. She also taught me how to say "busier." Mrs. Schriber was my Grade 2 teacher, and I wrote the best story she had ever recieved from one of her students. It was my first story and it had a complete plot line and developing characters and everything. I was afraid of Mr. Chow, the High school computer teacher, because I thoought he carried nun-chucks in his back pocket. I remeber Jenna-Rae singing "Barbie Girl" in the North bootroom and I remeber Alex always wearing suits in Kindergarten. I later went to school with boths kids up in Linden and Acme. I had a crush on Alex because one afternoon we were out picking icicles off of the eaves during break in Kindergaretn and he climbed up and got a really big one for me.
I remember Mrs. Harder (whom I always believed to be a witch) driving me home on me last school day ever at Beiseker. She told me that she would really miss me and that I was one of the specialist amd most talented young ladies she had ever known. I gripped my garbage bag full of school stuff. I didn't want to leave.
Theresa came up to Linden with me once on the day we moved. She was my only "real" friend. She left her sock at my house and I never gave it back. I never really saw her again until my Grad (she was dating one of my classmates); I sent her letters the whole first year but never heard back.
I met Laura and Jared the the same time at church. Laura and I had the same shoes. Laura's mom didn't really like me so we didn't really hang out too often. I became pretty good friends with Shari instead. I remember falling for this boy named Brady the second I saw him in Grade 5. His mom was super nice to me.
I honestly don't remember too much of Linden as I first came to know it. I know all the guys I had crushes on: Brady, Curt, Josh, Joel, Josh Evan, Josh, Jake, Jared, Brady. That is in chronological order too by the way. Brady was ironically the first boyfriend I ever really had (Brett didn't count), the first boy I have ever completely fallen in love with (still love 'em now! Just differently, sort of. I guess), first boy I ever kissed, and the first to ever break my heart.
IwhenI was in Grade 7 my Dad lost his last real job. He used to work in the city at a desk, that is why I call it his last real job. He has worked many different things since, but nothing has been as steady as that last one. When I was in Grade 8 or 9, can't remember, my Grandpa Tomlinson died from a type of leukemia. He, out of all four of my grandparents, was the one I knew best. He had a dog named Mandy that I loved. He used to call every Sunday night and talke to my family. I stayed at Laura's house for a few days while my mom and Dad flew out to Toronto for the funeral.
When I was in playschool, we flew out to Toronto for my Grandma's Tomlinson's funeral. It was sometime around Valentine's day because Ben collected all of my Valentines for me and gave me a kiss on the cheek when I came back.
I was in the hospital room when my Grandma passed. I saw my Dad cry. I was holding his hand and mom's hand. All of Grandma's kids were in the room when she passed. Mom took me and Andrew out and gave us Juicy Fruit because we didn't really understand what had just happened.
Jr. high and Grades 5 and 6 are pretty much a blur to me. I didn't enjoy them really. I didn't really like Linden. I wasn't really connected to anyone. When high school came around, life finally began having zest to it. I ran down to Lethbridge one random night right before Halloween and my first Social unit final. Totally spontaneously, April and i found ourselves on a Greyhound going south for the night. I missed my test but made it up the next day.
Also in Grade 10, two of my brother's classmates were killed in a horrible xcar accident on their way to a basketball game. A few of my own class mates were in the vehicle too. I was so scared and suddenly realized the futility of life.
In Grade 11, I went to Mexico on a mission's trip and got my first job. I was also in a band, whose memebers I love more than anything. Nothing, even now, could keep me from getting to them upon a beckon, not hell or high seas.
Grade 11 was the best year with them. We won the local of Battle of the Bands. Jared and I also became uber close. I had to sleep over at his house a couple of times because, at the time, there wasa a man living in my house who loved the drink and made my life a living hell.
Grade 12 brought me my boyfriend and Grad. Then, in the past 6 months, I have struggled with the "growing up" thing. Y'all know that end of the story though. I've been drunk, I got my primary place of work broken into, I've said goodbye so many times, been dirt poor (frequently suffering from a balance of zero), accquired three more jobs, and now am about to experience my first Christmas "away" from home. I've been blessed by my roommates and their love for me (thought I have torouble seeing why they love me), Zaira, my boss, David...everyone. I know everyone now. It takes me 15mins to check the mail from the coffee shop ( which is a block and a half away from the coffee shop) because I have to stop and talk to everyone on the way. Opposite of what I was, I am now finding myself connected to everyone. Everyone knows me, and for some reason thinks that I'm a goood, sweet girl. True, but jeez, I'm not perfect.

This entry, though hopefully providing enjoyment for you, was primarily written for my own benefit. I haven't thought back so much in years. I have so many more memories that I love, but I want to keep them my own for now.
Whatever the case, I have come to see that every day I am changing; everyday I am not the person I was the day beofre and will not be as I will the day after. After an hour of typing, I am left wondering where this road will take me.