Sympathies

Here's a question I've been pondering for a while: why does tragedy strike twofold? My hometown, though unexplainably intrinsically linked to the whole world, doesn't seem to ever have a year in which something big, and often tragic, happens and it often occurs with another event of similar magnitude. Maybe it is because Linden is so small that any event has such a profound impact. And all the bad things always happen at the least opportune moments—like around the holidays—though I suppose there is no opportune moment for a grievance.

I called my Grandma the other day for Christmas and I was one of the best conversations I've had in a long time. She gets it. She understands what is important in life. This Christmas the tow of us shared something new—we were both alone. Now I understand that sounds depressing, but you have to remember, my Grandma (and it is hard for me to call her Grandma as it paints a sentimental picture which doesn't suit her) is a very cool woman and very strong at heart. We were talking about our first Christmases alone and how we both had too much food in the fridge for just ourselves, how we've been keeping busy, and somehow winded up talking about sympathy cards. I didn't send her one for the simple reason that I think that sympathy cards are ridiculous. Why would someone want a sympathy card? Really, in all truth it is just some cheesy material object sending plastic condolences to the griever, though fundamentally the card is just another material reminded of this terrible sadness which has just occurred in their life. What a horrible idea! Someone who is mourning knows that people feel sad for them. They know that you miss the departed. They feel the same way! My Grandma was telling me that even now, almost 3months later, she is still receiving sympathy cards and she can't understand why people are, as she said, "…wasting so much money on a card that is going to be thrown out. They should…" and this is where she says something that made me feel very related to her "…thrown it into to the Salvation Army or something." How cool is that? She gets it.

If anthropology has taught me one thing, it is that my culture, though heavily based on aspirations and portraying a strong face, is deeply afraid of one thing that they can't do anything about: death. We let it overwhelm us and rather than respect it for the honor it brings to the departed, we mourn it because we are completely incapable of reversing it's effects. We fork out ridiculous amounts of money to send our best wishes to those closest to the departed and on the interment of the departed themselves, rather than understanding the inevitability of death. We spend seven dollars on a card which will be thrown away or flowers which will die, caskets which will be buried and make-up to make the departed seem more alive, rather than something of far greater value. If death is something you are so afraid of or feel sympathy toward, why not do more to prevent it? Donate money to homeless shelters, education and poverty eradication, or medical services? What about supporting the NGO's who are fighting to enforce human rights in places of violent civil unrest or political coup d'état? Why must we fear or let death take control of our lives? It happens, and to acknowledge that makes the moments left living so much sweeter. Striving to make someone's life as good as your own, to know and understand what is truly important? And to live these sentiments…how humbling!

I received an email from my home church in regards to a little boy's viewing that happened a couple of days ago, and it indicated that the attendees were encouraged to wear red as that was the lad's favorite coulour. I thought how wonderful that his parents celebrate his short life with something he so adored. They celebrated that he had about him enough to have a favorite colour. That is mourning, but loving more than anything. I hope the building was full of red! I imagine the family is sad that he is gone, but so much more at peace that he is finally healthy and happily where he was destined for.

I'm not a pessimist. I would like to, in fact, be thought of as much a realist as my Grandma.

Rosemary, Frank, Bing, Nat, and Ella

I feel like Mom and Dad raised me well, though it may have been through vicarious forces that this came to be the case. My Christmas, though devoid of wrapped presents and stuffed stockings, is fantastic. I am literally snowed in—in Abbotsford none the less—I have me tree up and decorated (a huge fake pine given to me by an amazing manager at work), baking done, and stockings hung. I've watched all the Christmas specials: the original Rudolph, Mr. Bean, Home Alone, the original Grinch; all that remains is "It's a Wonderful Life" which I have been saving for tonight. My iPod has been pumping out the classics as well; loaded with tunes from the Rat Pack, Glenn Miller, Ella, Rosemary, among other less influential artists. It feels like Christmas. It feels like Christmas did when I was still a little girl. Comfortable and cozy, filled with warmth and peace.

Although this is not my first Christmas away from home, it is the first one I have spent by my lonesome—well, Bob is here too (my fish). I know that time with family is especially valued at this time of year, and I would like to be back in Linden with loved ones, but God has given me this huge blessing of time spent alone. This is the first "time off" I have had from every responsibility in what feels like eons. I think July long weekend actually. I don't have to worry about anything. I have a place to live, a job, no school yet, no stresses. What an amazing feeling. I feel like I'm getting balanced again.

I do have one fear though—the power might cut out. It did a week or so ago and it was fairly crummy. There was no heat in the apartment and my roommate and I were forced to light a fire and a thousand candles to try and warm the place up at night. It was fun though. We built a gingerbread house and roasted marshmallows on the candle flames. Anyway, he is gone back to Linden for the week and if the power cuts here, I am trapped with no heat because I do not drive, the busses aren't running, and I have never made a fire in a fireplace.

What does a solo Christmas involve for me? Well, I plan on finishing all my laundry and cleaning the apartment, taking a much needed shower, playing around on the computer and television, listening to my iPod, making the rounds of calls to loved ones many many miles away, and maybe read a little. I suppose I should make food in there somewhere. I would like to take a walk, but think that I need a shovel and snow pants to get out of the building—there is several feet of snow on the ground. There are some vehicles in the parking lot which are completely buried in snow. Now, being that no one here owns a shovel, this makes for a serious mobility problem. It has been snowing for two days straight and doesn't show signs of stopping. Although, I cannot be grumpy with the snow. It is the most beautiful snow I have seen in years, if ever. There is no wind so it falls straight down, actually, it floats down. The flakes are big and light, and fluffy—powder—not wet and sticky. It is quite honestly picturesque. It really makes me want to go snowboarding!! Pretty soon I could hop of my third floor balcony and go boarding from there! Wishful thinking!

All in all, Mom and Dad have raised me to be happy with what I have, regardless of whether it is material or a locale. However I do really want a puppy, so if anyone wants to send one this way that would be so cool (but only real dogs please. No Chihuahuas)!

I suppose that is all for now. I wish you the very best Christmas!

Speak, Into the Microphone Please

The semester is done. I can't believe I am saying that already. It seems like I just got back to BC a couple weeks ago, but I've been back here longer than I was actually around Linden this summer. Crazy. Anyway, like I said, I'm finished my semester—exams and all. I must say, I don't get really stressed for finals. I look at all my friends back home and here and they're all stressed out about writing a test or paper or what have you, and I have never really been able to figure out why. Getting yourself all worked up isn't going to boost your performance; at best you'll have lapse in information recall. The way I figure, if made it to the end of the course you are equipped with everything you need to pass a test… you just need to muster the ability to reiterate it. But then again, I love school and am a very avid learner. I kind of have this desire to know everything.

That said, I can proudly say that I am sitting at a fantastic GPA and am the recipient of many A's this semester. I'm thrilled about my success not because I think good marks can be used to give me merit directly, but rather because I am taking course which I am passionate about—all somehow contribute to my goals of my future profession and self—and the fact that I am succeeding in them feels like a divine way of telling me that I am in the right place, doing the things I should be doing right now. I should also add that this semester was the hardest so far, and my efforts to excel at my classes came from deep within; my daily conscious thought revolved around what I had learned and ways I could apply it, constantly analyzing and thinking critically, and trying to find relationships in events. More than any time in my life thus far, I can knowingly contest that these past three and a half months have molded me, and remolded me, and shaped me into a more confident, peaceful, and aware individual.

Actually, something has been on my mind a lot these days and I ask that you, perhaps, bear with me as I try to put it clearly into words. I love this world. I think that it is such a gift, and I feel as though we are wasting it. I believe that we are killing the environment which we need to sustain ourselves and that something needs to be changed here rather quickly. Now, please don't take this to mean that I have bought into the Green parade and completely into climate change: Al Gore and David Suzuki and their army still annoy me and seem a touch contradictory as well. But the thing is, we are destroying our environments—the very same we are trying to live off of. In doing so, and this is where I become seriously irked, we are violating endless basic human rights! Environmentalists preach, above all, that we need to stop killing the environment...go green…so that there is something left for our future generations (ironically it is the American authors and figureheads who have spearheaded this Green Revolution), but what about the people we're killing now? I recently watched a movie and it revolutionized my life. It is called "The Refugees of the Blue Planet."

Did you know there are almost as many environmental refugees in the world today as there are political, religious, and ethnic refugees? Do you understand the scope of that statement? That statement means that there are more people displaced because of environmental issues than all of those refugees who have fled war torn nations throughout Africa, the Middle East, Europe, Latin America and Asia. The numbers are in the tens of millions! This was something I'd never really come to terms with or realized until this past semester. Even in my home province of Alberta, there are hundreds of environmental refugees simply in regards to the oil and sour-gas industry! All I can think about in regards to that is, "Boy, the government never brought that to my attention," and that just irks me because it just reinforces this stereotype that governments are in it for the money and could care less about social well being. But then again, our current government can't even handle a properly function democracy.

In Brazil, more that 100 villages were expropriated (bought out by a multinational country and then privatized) simply for the harvesting of eucalyptus trees. The company cleared the land of structures and living beings (except those used for laborers) to plant this foreign tree in a monoculture-type situation and you know what they harvest the majority of the trees for? Guess. Seriously, I dare you. Bet you didn't think toilet paper, but that is in fact what the majority of the trees are harvested for: the production of toilet paper for North America and Europe. Think about that next time you take a square! That square may have taken someone's LIFE away from them. They lost their homes, businesses, jobs…displaced against their will so that I can have the opportunity to flush something away after one brief use. If that doesn't strike you hard enough, think of this:

The Maldives. Now, I love maps. I love mapping things, studying maps, geography, cultures, languages—like I said I am in love with the world. There is not one place on this planet which is not beautiful in some way or another and the Maldives are no exception. Their white sandy beaches and crystal clear waters are popular vacation spots among our elite, and are idealized just as other places like Bora Bora and Tahiti. As series of coral atolls, the Maldives are at risk of disappearing. In fact, I believe that the highest point in the nation is not much more than a couple of meters above sea level. Most houses are suspended on stilts, and those which aren't are clustered together on the rare bit of land. As the ocean levels swell because of the melting ice caps, this whole country is about to go the way of Atlantis! The new President recently made an announcement that he will be saving money from the tourism industry in preparation for the need to purchase a new homeland for the 300, 000 Maldivians. We all know how the Palestinians and tribes of Africa are dealing with similar, homeland related issues.

I can't justify causing another person's suffering, nor can I feel right not being accountable for it. I hate what we have become! This is not about survival of the fittest; it's about survival of the wealthiest and in my mind that is a huge, incredible social injustice. I'm tired of being this mindless consumer, wasting the blessing of being born into a wealthy society and a gift for learning. My disposition for learning is a divine gift and ultimately not mine—what good is something if it isn't shared? I'm tired of supporting tourism and religious-contingent aid. For Pete's sake, if someone is hurting, help them by loving them, not shoving the Bible down their throats. And don't go into the world thinking that everyone one needs help because they aren't like us. WE are the problem! We could learn so much from the indigenous peoples of this world. I believe that the environment and mankind are intrinsically linked, and we need to start realizing the weight of our actions, or rather our inactions.