Have you ever noticed that sometimes, the world is quiet at all the wrong moments? Like, when you're wide awake and it is the middle of the night, and it is too quiet; when you call all your friends and none of them answer their phones; when your head is full of information but you completely blank out when you need to recall it? Yeah, it sucks. No, rather it is frustrating.
Don't get me wrong or anything: I am not sad or depressed. I have nothing in particular which I feel I need to tell anyone--nothing. I'm not really lonely, and I'm not particularly stressed anymore, now that I have finished my semester. Maybe I am still just over stimulated. Maybe I would go for a run, if it weren't snowing.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
AWOL
Yes, I have been busy and have been putting off an update of my blog. I do apologize. The past month has been such a whirlwind...well, so much more than that. It went by in a blink of an eye!
I'm writing my last two final exams for the semester tomorrow, and as of 10pm tomorrow night, I will officially be done my first year of post-secondary. I'm actually sad to be saying that. For as stressful and exhausting this semester has been, I am kind of sad to be finished my first year, and am having some seriously mixed feelings about returning home. Before I get into all of that though, an update on the past:
I can't remember what I was doing a month ago. Working a lot. Probably. You know how it is with me, living a life of the work-school cycle allowing minimal time for eating and sleeping. It's fun. Exhausting, but at least things are getting done! My life was pleasantly disrupted when my brother, Curt, and Laura came out to visit me at the end of March. They were only out here for a few days, but it was nice to just take a break from everything. We had a lot of fun; we always have fun. We went out to Vancouver a couple times (to the aquarium and North Van), toured the immediate area of Chilliwack, Mission, Fort Langley, hung out in Abby a bit, and went States-side down to Olympia and over as far as Snoqualmie Falls (b-e-a-u-tiful folks!). In short, we covered some serious terrain and lived in the car. When they left though, everything went back to normal and I disappeared behind a massive pile of books and locked myself up in my room to type endless papers on my laptop.
Since April started, I have been all about wrapping up this semester. I've been writing essays and assignments day and night, and have pushed myself to physical limits to get everything done. But I am okay. I still have to do up my taxes, but that seems so much less daunting than school. I had this one research paper for English that I had began working on back in the middle of February that...I let it get too overwhelming. It simply began stressing my out so much that at the end I was close to a nervous breakdown! When I handed it in, suddenly everything that I had left to do seemed so much more plausible.
I'm moving back to Linden in just over a week and a half, and like I said, I have some seriously mixed feelings. I'm happy to be going back because Linden is relaxed and laid-back, and I miss a ton of people. But at the same time, I love it here. I have some really good friends here, and I love my house. I mean, despite the fact that I am living in the basement of a private family home, I am so independent. I take the bus, yes, but that works for me. I'm responsible for my own livelihood. I don't know. Part of my is afraid of heading back, but I know that is normal. I mean, I am not the same person I was eight months ago, and neither is anyone else. Here, I was in school and spoiled with opportunities to get educated on some topics that really interest me, and the friends that I have made here...not things that interest the majority of my friends back in Linden. I don't think I am better than anyone, but I am struggling with this concept of being back; it seems as though people are expecting things to "go back to normal." Normal wasn't working for me though, and to be honest, when I left Linden back in September, I left a lot of my relationships broken. Why would anyone want to go back to that? I don't, really. I don't know. I can foresee some tense moments over the next four months. Great. Sounds like a whole lot of not fun. I don't know, we'll see. I should probably start packing one of these days though. I should maybe get some boxes so I CAN start packing.
I'm writing my last two final exams for the semester tomorrow, and as of 10pm tomorrow night, I will officially be done my first year of post-secondary. I'm actually sad to be saying that. For as stressful and exhausting this semester has been, I am kind of sad to be finished my first year, and am having some seriously mixed feelings about returning home. Before I get into all of that though, an update on the past:
I can't remember what I was doing a month ago. Working a lot. Probably. You know how it is with me, living a life of the work-school cycle allowing minimal time for eating and sleeping. It's fun. Exhausting, but at least things are getting done! My life was pleasantly disrupted when my brother, Curt, and Laura came out to visit me at the end of March. They were only out here for a few days, but it was nice to just take a break from everything. We had a lot of fun; we always have fun. We went out to Vancouver a couple times (to the aquarium and North Van), toured the immediate area of Chilliwack, Mission, Fort Langley, hung out in Abby a bit, and went States-side down to Olympia and over as far as Snoqualmie Falls (b-e-a-u-tiful folks!). In short, we covered some serious terrain and lived in the car. When they left though, everything went back to normal and I disappeared behind a massive pile of books and locked myself up in my room to type endless papers on my laptop.
Since April started, I have been all about wrapping up this semester. I've been writing essays and assignments day and night, and have pushed myself to physical limits to get everything done. But I am okay. I still have to do up my taxes, but that seems so much less daunting than school. I had this one research paper for English that I had began working on back in the middle of February that...I let it get too overwhelming. It simply began stressing my out so much that at the end I was close to a nervous breakdown! When I handed it in, suddenly everything that I had left to do seemed so much more plausible.
I'm moving back to Linden in just over a week and a half, and like I said, I have some seriously mixed feelings. I'm happy to be going back because Linden is relaxed and laid-back, and I miss a ton of people. But at the same time, I love it here. I have some really good friends here, and I love my house. I mean, despite the fact that I am living in the basement of a private family home, I am so independent. I take the bus, yes, but that works for me. I'm responsible for my own livelihood. I don't know. Part of my is afraid of heading back, but I know that is normal. I mean, I am not the same person I was eight months ago, and neither is anyone else. Here, I was in school and spoiled with opportunities to get educated on some topics that really interest me, and the friends that I have made here...not things that interest the majority of my friends back in Linden. I don't think I am better than anyone, but I am struggling with this concept of being back; it seems as though people are expecting things to "go back to normal." Normal wasn't working for me though, and to be honest, when I left Linden back in September, I left a lot of my relationships broken. Why would anyone want to go back to that? I don't, really. I don't know. I can foresee some tense moments over the next four months. Great. Sounds like a whole lot of not fun. I don't know, we'll see. I should probably start packing one of these days though. I should maybe get some boxes so I CAN start packing.
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